Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I confess...

...I addictively play "free cell", a card game on my computer. I play it when I'm blocked and trying to do something mindless while my brain comes up with ideas. I play it when I'm bored. I play it automatically when I finish some work on the computer.

So for Holy Week, starting two days ago, Palm Sunday, I gave up "free cell".

Boy, already I recognize the addictiveness. As soon as I finish checking emails or blogs or some work on the computer I automatically go to "games", or I start to. So far I have been able to catch myself, and it's in the catching myself that I am humbled by the compulsion to play that mindless game.

A year ago, on Easter Day, April 4, at 7 in the morning I badly damaged my right shoulder, particularly the rotator cuff. It's been slowing and surely healing, but a month ago I woke up one morning and found I had re-injured the same shoulder - probably carrying three heavy loads that I though I was safe doing. The effect of the injury is different from the original but it's almost as debilitating, mostly in that there is sudden pain when I move unexpectedly.

Giving up "free cell" for the nonce is, in part, an experiment to see if giving up that repetetive movement will help me heal. In the original injury, all computer work exacerbated the injury. Even as I type this, I can feel it in my shoulder, where the muscle runs into the neck. Would it be such a bad thing to have to give this up all together for a month?

No email. No bulletins. No letters. No blogs. No games.

How would my life be different? How would my work be different? How would the live of those I serve be different?

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